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Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Jellyfish Bad Day.

If you're having a bad day, then you really should read this and ask yourself if it can top a Jellyfish Bad Day. If you're not having a bad day, but just need a good laugh, then read this. Just read it, ok? But make sure you peed first. Enjoy, Heidi Image via Etsy, Petite Paperie.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is and email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who were sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

11 comments:

Simone said...

I.have.no.words.
OMG!
Am laughing so hard.......brilliant!
Thank you for that!!!
:)

Sami said...

I was having a bad day...but wow...

It isn't a Jellyfish bad day. Thanks for the laugh!

Sami Gb

count it all joy said...

Living in Australia, we have a plentiful supply of jellyfish/blue bottle stories...but that one takes the cake! I shall insist upon "Is it a jellyfish bad day?" as a new family expression....once I've stopped laughing enough to explain it. Meredith xo.

Angie said...

OH MY GOODNESS this is the BEST ever!!! I can't stop laughing!

chair up said...

It seems somewhat cruel to laugh at Rob's misfortune but GEE THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!
Angex

Millie said...

MOTH the old Diver will sympathize with this poor bloke.
Millie ^_^

Hetal Vankani said...

OMG..This is hilarious! And indeed it made me feel, my day is much better! :) I have recently started reading your blog. And I am in awe of it.

Hetal Vankani said...

OMG...This is hilarious. Indeed, this made me think my day isn't so bad! I have been reading your blog lately. And i am in awe of it! :)

~ ~ Ahrisha ~ ~ said...

Hi Heidi~ ~
This is my first visit to your blog and I will never forget it. Thanks for the rip roaring laugh!

Oh and I also enjoyed the rest of your lovely blog.
~ ~Ahrisha~ ~

jennifersmalley1 said...

Hilarious! I'm so glad my jellyfish digital collage could be included in your blog!

Jennifer
www.petitepaperie.etsy.com

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Oh my word, I needed this today. I thought I was having about the worst day ever. I suppose dog poop being tracked all over your carpet on your child's shoe isn't the worst thing that could happen...

Blessings,
LMM