Su Blackwell is one of the most amazing Paper Artists I have ever seen. Here are some of her pieces. Make sure you click on her name or an image to be transported into a world where paper seems to come to life. Enjoy, Heidi
I received this in an email today and when I read it I laughed till I cried and my side hurt, that tells you right there that I am out of shape. So grab a tissue and make sure you have peed, it's extremely funny. Enjoy, Heidi
WEEK AT THE GYM If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. ________________________________ MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!! ________________________________ TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me. _______________________________ WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and w hen she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too. _______________________________ THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. _______________________________ FRIDAY: I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. < /div> Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? ________________________________ SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up to day. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. ________________________________ SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Here is a two for one since I have been laying off the blog lately. This is one of my favorite artists, Wendy Addison. She captures magic in her work, the kind that you find in old treasures. This is her workshop, the Theatre of Dreams. Her line has been picked up by the company Midwest of Cannon falls so you probably have seen her stuff in stores (Curious Sofa). All of the images are via Heather Bullard who not only has a good eye but loads of talent. If you are looking for more eye candy her blog and her work are fabulous. Brace yourself, you are about to go on a magical escape. Enjoy, Heidi
Ralph Lauren Home, Mayfair Collection is my HEAVEN. These pictures are not the best quality because I had to print them out and then scan them back into my computer. Apparently Ralph does not want to give up his fabulousness so easily. My Beefcake/Computer Geek husband couldn't even figure out how to copy the images from the Ralph Lauren Home site. So, to all of you out there reading this, you must click on any of these glamorous grainy pictures or aqua words so that you too will feel as if you just died and went to HEAVEN. Thank you Ralph. Enjoy, Heidi